I put the PRO in PROCRASTINATE! Just kidding. Or am I?
I did not set an alarm last night, because today I had no pressing commitments. Other than some electronic paperwork. That will likely take a while to complete. I’ve been awake since around 6:30 a.m. or so. But, I’ve yet to even look at this paperwork. Instead, I am reading and writing a blog. I am listening to music. I watched a couple episodes of a show on Netflix.
I made more coffee. I thought about doing laundry. I thought about going for a jog (I’ll probably still do that, just as soon as I finish this). I’ve been thinking on and off about what tomorrow’s obligations, and what I may need to do today to be prepared. But doing things at the last minute is so much more fulfilling!
This is my problem. I often have so much going on that I am unable to properly focus. This causes me to stay motionless, thinking about all the things I have to do. And then, before I know it, I’ve just watched an entire season of Battlestar Galactica or read half of a 2,000-page book, and I have to rush to get my obligations done. This ADD thing can literally paralyze me.
There is not one particular thing I am procrastinating on. In fact, there are only a minute percentage of things I put off on purpose. Most of the time, it’s unintentional. Perhaps it’s because I’ve spent my entire life putting things off as a way to cope with the anxiety of “what if?” syndrome.
But I’m changing that. I’ve learned other coping mechanisms. I have to constantly remind myself that results only come from action. I have to remind myself not to think too much.
Stranger yet, I never have this problem at work. At least, it is seldom a problem as a result of my own inaction. Usually if something at work is pushed off, it’s because I have to wait on one or more of the other powers that be.
My most recent musical obsession is A Perfect Circle’s album Thirteenth Step. Transformative. I can take solace in knowing that I don’t need to make people understand the incredible depths I can see when there is beauty like that.
I suppose I should stop procrastinating and do something useful today.